The Detroit Lions still aren’t ready for primetime.

The Detroit Lions used to make regular appearances on Monday Night Football when players like Herman Moore and Barry Sanders were integral parts of the high-powered offense that the Monday Night Football schedule makers craved. Sold-out Monday night games at the Pontiac Silverdome were legendary.  The fights in the stands were just as entertaining as the product on the field.  And at that time in Lions history, that’s saying something.

But that was a long time ago.

The last time the Detroit Lions appeared on Monday Night Football was October 8, 2001 against the St. Louis Rams.

They got shellacked, 35-0.

Since then, ABC/ESPN has, understandably, shied away from placing the team in their Monday night showcase, which is also saying something.  Because according to our crack research staff, you have to be downright terrible to not be invited on the premier league showcase.  

In fact, you have to be the worst team in the league on a regular basis.

Monday Night football at-a-glance since the Lions last appeared:

• There have been 144 games total.
• Every single NFL team has appeared in at least one game (Houston Texans). 
• Two other teams — Buffalo Bills and Arizona Cardinals — have appeared three times each, the next lowest amount.
• The Green Bay Packers and Philadelphia Eagles have appeared most often (19 times each.)

Knowing that every team has played in at least one Monday Night Football game since the Lions last appeared, it’s a bit peculiar that the Lions haven’t been invited back, even if it’s to throw Detroiters a bone in tough time.

Alas, the closest we came was a preseason Monday Night Football game in 2005 against — you guessed it — the St. Louis Rams.

Of course, there is one remedy for this ailment.

Winning.

Does Detroit need a professional football team?

There is a prevailing school of thought in Detroit that thinks the city needs a winning football team, as if victories on the field would have equaled proper protocol in the mayor’s office or less jokes on The Jay Leno Show.

My question is: Why?

In the span of time since William Clay Ford, Sr. bought the Detroit Lions, the Detroit Tigers have won two World Series and advanced to another; the Detroit Pistons won three championships while losing two Finals; and the Detroit Red Wings have appeared in eight Stanley Cup Finals, winning four of them.

The Lions? They’ve won one playoff game while wallowing in futility for a half century.

There was a brief period of time in the 90’s when the team was legitimately good, but they were never able to get over the hump. Since the retirement of Barry Sanders, they’ve been downright terrible. It was capped off by last year’s first-time-in-NFL-history 0-16 season.

Management has shown a consistent knack for drafting the wrong players and hiring the wrong coaches. The players who do don the intimidating Honolulu Blue look lost and out-of-place most Sundays. And unless you buy tickets to a game (or it’s Thanksgiving) you can’t watch the home games on television due to the NFL’s blackout rule.

In a city constantly the butt of national jokes for its shady political players and a decimated automotive industry that is sucking the lifeblood out of the region, this is supposed to lift our spirits? I don’t see the point in cheering for a team that has a habit of disappointing its fanbase. Regularly.

Removing the Detroit Lions from the equation would allow us to endure less pain and suffering on account of our local teams, and force us to appreciate the professionalism and talent that our other teams showcase.

And removing the cancer from our fandom that is the Lions might even improve our outlook.